Every year there’s a new model of your favorite vehicle. And every year, that new model has some life-changing feature that’s been added to it.
It’s advertised as…
The Best Thing to Happen to Your Car EVER.
Hell, it’s advertised as The Best Thing to Happen to YOU ever.
You’re told it will forever change the way you drive. So you head to the dealership to check it out.
The first thing you notice is the price. Wohhhhh. That’s a lot of zeros.
But you think to yourself…
“It must be worth all that money because of this fancy new feature, right?”
Take a look at some of the most useless car features ever invented. Believe me, these aren’t worth any hefty price tags.
#1 Electronic E-Brake
I guess you can kiss those 360° drift turns in the Wal-Mart parking lot goodbye. Burn-outs are a thing of the past too, now that you’re stuck with an electronic E-Brake. Just kidding. Go Auto doesn’t encourage that kind of unsafe behavior.
But seriously, what was wrong with handle e-brakes? They worked just fine. Or was it simply too exhausting pulling that tiny, lightweight handle up?
#2 Fake Engine Sounds
Sorry, I just don’t get it. Why not take the time you spent piping fake engine noise through the exhaust and instead just make a better sounding vehicle?
Finding out your vehicle was faking it all this time? Priceless. No one likes a faker, in any kind of scenario.
#3 Motorized Rear View Mirrors
Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should.
Motorizing a mirror that’s literally within inches of your reach is the perfect example of just that type of thing. Adjusting your mirror actually takes less than five seconds to do. It probably takes a hell-of-a-lot longer to find the button and adjust the rear view mirror up, then down, then side to side.
Motorized side-mirrors, on the other hand, were a great idea. Reaching your hand outside your vehicle can be extremely difficult, especially when it’s raining outside or you need to make a quick adjustment mid-drive. This is a feature worthwhile to have. Motorized rear view mirrors, however, are not.
#4 Automatic Car Doors
Automatic tailgates are the bomb.com. Everyone’s had their hands full at one time or another and stared at their trunk thinking…
“How the hell am I going to manage this?”
And as if by magic, the automatic tailgates opens for you.
This right here. This is science at its best.
But car doors opening automatically? How lazy as a society have we gotten? At this point, we might as well just pay people to chew our food for us too.
#5 Eco Driving Warning Light
This is a little green light on your dashboard that goes off when you’re wasting gas and not driving in an environmentally friendly way. Or in other words…
Information you don’t care about. It doesn’t concern the overall performance of your vehicle. It doesn’t affect your safety, either.
Here’s a thought: If we’re just going to add lights to the dashboard at a whim, let’s make a little donut-shaped one for every time you drive by a Tim Hortons. Or a little blue guy fist-pumping every time you make a lane change.
#6 Sunglass Holder
Ever had a pair of sunglasses that actually FIT inside one of these things?
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
Have a suggestion for another car feature that’s totally pointless? Disagree with one of these? Tell us in the comments below!